Better to Have Loved
by tromana
Summary: Apparently, it's better to have loved than never loved at all. Jane's not so sure now. Jane/Lisbon
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This was meant to be a oneshot, but obviously it isn't anymore. I don't quite know how long it's going to be, but hopefully it won't be longer than 5/6 chapters tops. I intend to alternate Jane and Lisbon's point of views with this. And hm. I have far too many multiparter ideas, I need to pace myself with starting them. Heh.

x tromana

* * *

**Title: **Better to Have Loved  
**Author:** tromana  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters:** Jane/Lisbon  
**Disclaimer: **It's better me not owning the show, believe me.  
**Summary:** Apparently, it's better to have loved than never loved at all. Jane's not so sure now. Jane/Lisbon  
**Notes:** Lyrics from 'Better to Have Loved' by Idina Menzel. mentalistprompt community on LJ prompt: 001 something new

**Better to Have Loved**

_Better to have loved than never loved at all  
Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall  
Better to have held you and let you in  
Than never to have touched your skin  
Better to have hurt and screamed and cried  
Fallen to the earth for a trip to the sky  
Better to have loved you  
-Better to Have Loved, _Idina Menzel

**Part One**

Jane smiles as he allows his fingers to dance across her skin, relishing in the moment as she shudders in response. It's been a long while since he was last intimate with a woman but Lisbon had been so very keen and he had found himself swept along with her enthusiasm all too willingly. Of all the women currently in his life, he is glad that it's Lisbon who is teaching him how to love again. And though he'd never dare tell her, partially because she wouldn't take his compliments seriously, she does make a rather excellent tutor. He reckons that if she wasn't a cop, she should have gone into the education profession. He can just see her wearing those tight pencil skirts daily, barking instructions at a small class of unruly six year olds, making sure that they all…

He jumps as a small but firm hand slaps across his chest. The little minx is looking down at him, her face partially obscured with bed hair, but he can still see her sharp green eyes, round with intrigue.

"What are you daydreaming about?"

"You," he replies immediately, having no need to lie for a change. He smirks and pokes her in the side, stifling his laughter as she shies from his touch. "You need to wear skirts more often."

"Oh really?" she asks, her tone typically skeptical as she sits up. Jane has to hide his delight when he suddenly finds her bare legs straddling his waist. "What made you come to that conclusion?"

"Your court skirt."

"Well, I'm glad you're fantasizing in bed rather than wasting time at work, but it's not gonna happen."

"Why not?"

She finds his pout rather endearing and Jane knows that she always has. Unfortunately for her that means he likes to play on it, though she remains woefully unaware of the fact. Still, he doesn't expect her nimble hands to sought out his ticklish spots. Now, _he's_ the one squirming and is entirely at her mercy, mainly because having three brothers means she's an expert when it comes to tickle fights. He doesn't get surprised when she manages to turn the tables in him, not anymore, but it doesn't mean he has to appreciate or endure the treatment. Eventually, he finds himself completely breathless and unable to make any sort of a resistance and therefore, has to call a halt to the brunette's style of torture. It's only when they have both stopped laughing and regained some composure that he realizes that he prompts her for an answer. He would genuinely like it if she started to wear more skirts at work and he's fairly certain that several other individuals who work at the CBI would appreciate it too.

"I could hardly apprehend troublesome suspects while wearing a skirt," she eventually answers, as if it is blindingly obvious. "It would make things a lot more difficult."

Jane nods, realizing he will have to concede defeat this time around as it is a very valid point. Instead, he allows his hands to run up her luscious legs, the ones that are pinning him to her, their, bed. They'd been occupying his thoughts minutes ago so he might as well enjoy them while she was practically handing them to him on a silver platter. At least she has no excuse to keep them hidden in practical garments in private he muses as he pulls her down to meet him for a searing kiss.

She has no excuse at all.

***

Jane hadn't thought it feasibly possible for his life to be turned completely upside down for a second time.

Lisbon is the most steadfast, faithful woman he knew yet somehow, she has completely disappeared off the face of the earth. Everyone else he knows would have a reason for going away suddenly. Cho practically lives under his mother's thumb, Van Pelt is still in regular contact with her college friends, Rigsby has family emergencies every other week and so on. Heck, he even knows that the night security guard is having marital problems and on days when his wife is co-operating, it's virtually impossible to get hold of him. But Lisbon? Anything she does is meticulously planned. It's a major operation for her to go and visit any of her family and requires a hell of a lot of persuasion.

Just twenty four hours ago, she had been in his arms, teasing him in that typical Lisbon-ish manner. Now, he didn't have a clue where she was and that was terribly disconcerting. It's not that he wants to shadow her; he's proud that she has her own life to lead, but he gets jumpy if he doesn't know where she is. After the losses he endured so long ago now, he hopes that it's understandable if he gets a little clingy at times. He wants to take his car and go canvassing the streets, but Cho and Rigsby have insisted that there's probably a logical explanation and have confiscated his car keys. Van Pelt is sitting in his lounge, sipping periodically at a chamomile tea, in a twisted sort of stakeout to ensure he at least gets a little rest.

If she hasn't turned up in a couple of day's time, then they'll allow him to worry.

***

It's a fortnight later and Jane finds himself barely wanting to move out of their bed. Not because he's catching up on sleep, if anything since she disappeared, he's sleeping even less, but because her scent still lingers on the sheets and he wants to envelop himself in the familiarity. As promised, the team agreed to approach not only Hightower, but Missing Persons. Hightower, annoyingly, just brushed them off and refused to listen to anything they had to say. The same with Missing Persons. Apparently, there were no suspicious circumstances and if Lisbon had chosen to leave Sacramento, there was little they could do about it. Jane, naturally, believes that is just an excuse, sheer laziness and them not wanting to take on yet another case. Lisbon's disappearance is suspicious in itself simply because of who she is. How can a lead agent of a CBI team go missing without it being a cause for concern? Anything could have happened to her and nobody is willing to give them any answers.

The moment she didn't answer her cell phone, he could feel the panic rising in his veins, all too familiar to the other time he'd lost a loved one. He'd been trying to get through to her regularly, but the line has been cut now so even trying to call is pointless. He's scoured the streets, asked countless people and even ran up a few leaflets, all to no avail. Now, he's just ran out of energy and wishes that he could sleep away his woes. Either that, or wake up and find out that it's all been a terrible nightmare and Lisbon is still sleeping peacefully by his side. Instead, he just feels like his heart is breaking all over again and he wants whoever it is who is hammering down the door to just go away and leave him alone. He doesn't have the energy to deal with people, unless it's Lisbon or they know where she is. Jane knows that he had been falling head over heels in love with the woman, had been enjoying every single waking moment he'd spent with the little spitfire. Even the arguments where they found themselves tearing at each other's throats had made him feel alive, something he hadn't felt for years.

But whether or not it is worth all this terrible heartache now that she's gone, he's not so sure.

It's not that she's left him that gets to him, it's that there's been no explanations or answers for her sudden disappearance whatsoever that hurts the most.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Quick update as I'm meant to be going out and now running late. Never mind though, I'll just have to walk fast or something

Thanks to: jisbon-sessed, Koezh, lisbon69, phoenixmagic1, Divinia Serit, Frogster, Ebony10, yaba, Viktorija, mtm, Famous4it and jisbon 14 for reviewing part one.

x tromana

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**Part Two**

She can't believe the words she is reading.

It shakes her to her very core, to the extent that she finds herself emptying the contents of her stomach in the bathroom seconds later. After a good half an hour of heaving, until she is fairly certain that there is nothing left to throw up, Teresa Lisbon stands up on shaking legs. Grabbing a towel, she takes a couple of minutes to clean herself up and leans on the basin before taking in her appearance. She's as white as a sheet. That's unsurprising really, given the circumstances so she can forgive herself that one sign of weakness. After all, it's not every day you discover that you're the next target for the most notorious serial killer currently plaguing California.

Briefly, she wonders if she can play Red John at his own game. Use the knowledge that she knows he intends to strike - and soon - to her advantage in order to apprehend him for once and for all. Lisbon can already see the varying looks of horror on each of the members of her team though, not to mention the look of terror and disgust on Jane's face. None of them would ever allow her to be the bait in an elaborate trap, they all care about her too much. She appreciates their concern, or she would, if she were to tell them, but sometimes the job is more important than your own personal safety. Gathering up her most important belongings, she heads towards Hightower's office. She has things to organize now.

Lisbon has been responsible for placing people under witness protection on occasion in the past. She understands that it's a terrifying process, one where you feel terribly isolated and alone. But it was always for their welfare, to preserve the lives of the individuals involved. But one thing Lisbon never considered was the idea that there would be a moment in her life where she would have to address the very same feelings herself. Of course, this would be slightly different and only Hightower specifically knows how, but that isn't the point. Regardless of the smaller details, she is going to have to stop and start her life again.

It's strange how life turns out.

She's well aware of the reason _why_ she has jumped up Red John's hit list. Of course, the serial killer has always had her in his peripheral vision, for she is the lead agent into the investigation of his crimes. She also knows that for a long while, the criminal didn't see her as a serious threat though whether that is because of her gender, her age, her experience as a law enforcement officer or some other mundane reason, she does not know. She doesn't quite understand the egotistical masochist, though goodness knows she's tried for any understanding would draw them closer to him. Since Jane joined her team, however…

Ah, Jane. The crux of the matter.

It's her own fault, really. Once she had been certain that he had feelings of sorts for her, she had been the one to instigate the progression in their relationship. Like everything else in her life, she just had to be in control of that too. Jane didn't seem to mind, not particularly. If anything, he seems to enjoy having Lisbon take the lead and is quite happy to follow her around like a little, faithful puppy dog. She can't let it happen anymore though, for both their sakes. As Red John still seems determined to make Jane's life a misery by taking away any woman who appears to care for him even the slightest bit, she has to go.

After all, it's either this way or by the murderer's blade. And though the very thought kills her, figuratively speaking, she far prefers this to dying literally.

Besides, Red John will not rest until he finds her. That means they have a way of finally luring the bastard out into public view and actually have a chance of apprehending him.

***

Lisbon can't help but snort at the bitter irony when, two weeks later, she finds herself wriggling into a tight black pencil skirt. If only Jane could see her now, he'd be having a field day. Or rather, the skirt would still be on the floor and they'd probably be back in bed, but that's beside the point. The thigh holster she has already strapped on is already growing uncomfortable, but she doesn't have much choice. She's still an agent with the CBI. Technically speaking anyway, though nobody's meant to know that. She's still on the job, even if it is only her boss who knows. But _technically_, she's also under a witness protection scheme for her own safety, though it is deliberately flawed and regardless of who she is actually employed by, she has now got to get to grips with a bank's computing system.

She would have much preferred to transfer into a Sheriff's job, as it makes more sense to her and the link is far more logical. Hightower, however, likes the idea that Red John could see her as being unarmed and therefore vulnerable. Bank staff are rarely the types to carry guns to work, after all, whereas the highest paid LEO would still be armed and therefore, more of a risk to the serial killer. So instead, she finds herself plastering a fake smile as people argue at her about bills that need to be paid and why the hell checks haven't cleared yet. Lisbon quickly realizes just how unsuitable she is for monotony of the job and dealing with customers is wearing her patience thin. Still, the pressure of her firearm remind her that she's kind of, sort of, undercover and therefore it isn't as bad as it could be. It's not as if she actually works for this place, she's just pretending to.

Becca smiles at her cheerfully as she shows Lisbon how to lock up. The tall brunette woman is more than a little jealous of the fact that Lisbon, or Teresa Hollins as she believes her colleague is called, has jumped up the ranks so quickly, but hides it with a smile that is as fake as her hair extensions. Lisbon knows the smile that doesn't quite reach the eyes all too well and feels a pang of guilt and sorrow as Jane crosses her mind for what felt like the billionth time that day. And her team too. She knows how their minds work. They're probably assuming the worst but hoping for the best and all she wants to do is pick up the phone and at least put their nerves at ease and confirm that she is okay.

Instead, she's being dragged to a bar by Becca and a couple of her equally plastic friends for a boozy night out.

Later and thankfully still sober, though that couldn't be said for the women who had accompanied her out that night, Lisbon quietly creeps back into the apartment that she had been given for this farce. Her heart is thumping in her chest cavity, as it always does whenever she enters her new 'home'. It's unfamiliar to her and therefore, she doesn't trust herself to be safe in it, even with the all the security procedures that have been put in place. Theoretically, nobody can break into this room, or any other in this apartment complex, but that doesn't mean she has to trust it. It still isn't _home_ to her. Having absolutely nothing else to do until morning and the horrible concept of working in bank yet again, she heads straight upstairs to bed after ensuring all her doors and windows are locked and bolted and the burglar alarm is set. It's a lonely routine and she's shocked at just how much she feels that. At one time she was such a lone ranger, that this kind of sorry situation would never have bothered her. Within minutes, she's pulling the scratchy sheets tighter around her lithe form, wishing that sleep would invade and take her away. There's no comfort in this bed, no soft pillows, no familiar duvet. Not even the familiar scent of Jane hanging on the cotton fibers.

All Lisbon knows is she misses him more than she ever imagined she could.

**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **This is actually sort-of planned now. Hooray! That'll hopefully help with regularly updating this too, but who knows what'll happen with a new challenge about to start. But yeah, I'll try and update regularly.

Thanks to: lisbon69, Koezh, Divinia Serit, Ebony10, klcarr892, jisbon-sessed, yaba, jisbon 14, Viktorija, Frogster, Queen Em, Simonisthecuttestmentalist, mtm, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, amurderofcrows and WildDaisies10 for reviewing part two. Thank you!

Now, I'm going to have an early night as my head still hurts from having a log being dropped on it on Thursday. Now my head hurts in two places. Yay!

x tromana

* * *

**Part Three**

His cell phone buzzes cheerily and though he is barely awake, he scoops up the object with some urgency.

The idea that it could be Lisbon contacting him with some sort of an explanation hasn't quite worn off yet, even though they have been separated for nearly three months now. It has got to the stage that he doesn't care just how feeble her excuses are, he just wants to hear her voice and let her know just how much he misses her, how much he cares. That if she were to come back home right now, he'd make up for whatever it is he's done wrong, though he can't quite put his finger on what it could be. They'd been getting on so well and life seemed to have finally turned a corner for him, like he had finally rediscovered happiness. She has just pulled the rug from under his feet and sent him hurtling back to square one and he's been feeling a little lost. He never realized just how much he had relied upon her and would do anything to go back in time to try and stop her from leaving.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his face falls as he sees who the message is from. The message was gloating, simply sent to taunt him and the number was always untraceable or had been recently disconnected. It always is. Still, Red John has taken to messaging about his latest plans and successes, something that he hadn't told Lisbon about, because he hadn't wanted to worry her. Besides, Jane had always thought he'd be able to protect her, regardless of the fact that she is physically far tougher than he is. Especially as some of the most recent had informed him of his plans to take her away from him.

He hopes that Red John hasn't got to her already, though he's fairly certain that he hasn't. Mainly, because he would have ensured that Jane had found her body as soon as feasibly possible as they both know how much that would probably destroy him. Shuddering slightly, he shakes his head. He doesn't want to think about that; she's not dead because she's Lisbon. She _knows_ how to look after herself. Instead, she seems to have simply disappeared and he has no idea…

Ah.

Why hadn't he considered the idea of her looking at his cell phone before now? And if Red John has his number, it's entirely possible that he has her contact details too. Telling her exactly what he plans to do to her would be the murderer's idea of a sick sort of cat and mouse game. Now, she's probably running scared, somewhere alone with nobody to hold her, nobody to comfort her. Nobody to keep an eye on her excepting herself.

But that didn't explain why Hightower has been showing a distinct lack of concern. Lisbon's superior had been so blasé about it, just stating that the brunette had been under an obscene amount of pressure and probably just wanted to have a break from it all. It didn't matter that she left in such a dramatic way, she just needed out before somebody tried to stop her. However, it made more sense that the new boss actually knew what Lisbon was up to, knew where she was and was simply trying to cover her tracks in order to make sure she remained untraceable. It also explained why the woman had failed to hire a replacement even after a quarter of a year had passed.

But still, all he can think is if Lisbon is under some witness protection scheme and Hightower knows, that means the woman may well have information on her location in her office at the CBI headquarters. Feeling more inspired and more energetic than he has for weeks, he presses speed dial four and waits impatiently for Cho to answer the call.

***

Cho places his cell phone back on his bedside table, somewhat disconcerted. Of all the people who could call him in the middle of the night, Jane was somewhere near the bottom of the list. Along with Rigsby and Van Pelt, he'd been desperately trying to inspire Jane to do something other than mope about something he couldn't control. Whether that had been trying to get him to engage on a case, join them on a night out or to actually do something about looking for Lisbon, it had all fallen flat. All he had seemed interested in doing was moping about the fact she was gone, something which he had no control over. Cho couldn't help but wonder what had been the trigger to cause his change of heart, not that he would ever bother asking. The blond did too much talking without actually saying stuff for him to have the energy to try and keep up with him.

"What's wrong?" Elise murmurs, unappreciative of Cho's restlessness. "You have work?"

"Nothing that can't wait until morning."

"Good. Sleep now."

Cho nods and wraps an arm around his girlfriend's waist. He cannot imagine what it'd be like to be in Jane's shoes and frankly, he doesn't want to. It hurts enough knowing Lisbon is missing and being merely a friend and co-worker without being absolutely devoted to her the way Jane is. Nuzzling into Elise's hair, he still feels tense at what Jane has asked him to do in the morning. Breaking into their boss' office is just wrong, even if there is the slightest possibility of finding out where Lisbon is.

"Don't worry, I'd never just disappear on you, Kimball."

***

Jane breathes a sigh of relief when his hands come into contact with the information he needs. All he had had to do was jimmy the lock on the filing cabinet and it had been pretty much the first one he'd looked at. He'd been very grateful for the help of the rest of the team. They had all been more than happy to distract Hightower for long enough to allow him to do this, despite the questionable legality of the situation. He knew the woman wouldn't appreciate the fact that they had invaded her privacy, but frankly, he didn't care. All he wanted to do was find Lisbon, to make sure she is safe and well, to hold her in his arms and never let her out of his sight again.

He knows he should at least copy the paperwork because sooner or later, it will be missed. Frankly, he doesn't care and he doesn't have the time so instead, he just slips out of the office and meets Van Pelt. As they head back towards the bullpen, a little relief washes over him. At least he is getting some answers now, which is something he's been aching to get for quite some time now.

"Did you get what you needed?"

Van Pelt looks at Jane searchingly and breathes out a sigh of relief when Jane nods in response. It only took him five minutes to find proof that Hightower was indeed in regular contact with Lisbon. It worried him somewhat that if she was supposed to be in some kind of witness protection, that it had been so woefully easily for him to find out her exact location. If he could work it out, it meant that Red John could find out just as easily. It just annoyed him that it took him far too long to get his act into gear enough to stop feeling sorry for himself and do something about it.

"She's near Malibu."

"I can book us flights this afternoon," she confirms and Jane smiles briefly in response.

He doesn't relax until he's not only at the airport, but on the airplane. One thing he didn't expect was that the rest of them had intended to join him. Whether or not they have booked time off work or just left without letting anybody know of their intentions. He didn't know. Frankly, he didn't care either because he appreciated their support and knows it is testament to Lisbon just how much they are willing to sacrifice in order to be reunited with her.

It won't be long until he is with her again and that's simply a blessed relief to him.

**TBC…**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to update this fic. I just couldn't get back into it for some reason. Ugh, I hate it when that happens. Anyway, finally managed to write this so yay. I think, anyway.

Thank you to: Viktorija, raquelvalente91, Koezh, yaba, lisbon69, klcarr892, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, jisbon-sessed, cherryblossomcanopy, anthropologist, Ebony10, Famous4it, waterbaby134, phoenixmagic1, mtm, WildDaisies10, Divinia Serit, jisbon 14, Frogster, Nick Tarostar and boutondor for reviewing part three. I'm completely overwhelmed by the support. Thank you!

x tromana

* * *

**Part Four**

Lisbon thought she knew what it was like to be isolated and before she had even left for Malibu, had kind of accepted her fate. Up until a few months ago, when she finally gave into her emotions and allowed herself to start a romantic relationship with Jane, she had been so used to being alone. Of course she had dated occasionally, met up with the few friends who understood her rigorous schedule and the like, but essentially she had been a lone ranger. And she'd liked it, thrived upon it, even. She'd loved the independence, not having to consider how other people had to slot into her life and she could be as spontaneous as she liked. Which wasn't very, but that was beside the point.

It's all different now, anyway.

She figures it's because her life has been turned completely upside down for the second time in the space of a year. Lisbon would be more than happy to be the first to admit that it had taken her a relatively long while to adjust to having Jane play a much larger role in her life than she'd ever anticipated. Secretive by nature, she finds it hard to trust easily, partially due to her rough childhood, so opening up to somebody else had felt foreign, unnatural. But she'd eventually grown used to it, settled down a little, even felt comfortable with the companionship.

And now…

Now, she craves it, a feeling she never expected to have to deal with. It has all been snatched away from her just as she realized it's something she needs. Just when Lisbon had finally thought she knew where she stood with her life, it had all been shaken up yet again. It seems that whenever she feels contented, somebody has to drop a nuclear bomb and annihilate her happy existence. She doesn't actually like living alone anymore, the apartment feels empty and cold. It doesn't help that she's in Jane's old stomping ground either. It feels like there's ghosts hanging on every corner and danger lurking in every crevice. She doesn't trust anybody and they care little for her in return and it makes her wonder just when she became so agitated. It doesn't help that she's terrified that every stranger she meets could potentially be Red John and that any backup she actually trusts is so far away. Though she ensures she is armed at all times, it provides very little comfort.

Well, there's only so much comfort a gun can provide anyway. After all, it makes a very poor substitute for a strong pair of arms.

At night, when trying to sleep, her thoughts invariably slip to Jane. She wonders if he is coping any better without her than she is without him. She tries to work out why he never bothered to tell her about the death threats, why he hadn't thought that important information to share. Mostly, she just wishes that this sorry situation hadn't been necessary at all so she could still be with him now. Especially so, as if they get through this unscathed, she doesn't know how she can trust him again. Secrets such as that could destroy even the sturdiest of relationships and theirs had always been so terribly fragile.

The bank job is slowly driving her insane. It's one thing dealing with criminals, furious relatives of the deceased, juggling lawsuits and testimonials and another thing entirely serving the general public in the retail sector. For that's all she's doing now, selling the image of the bank and various different ways to save your money. Lisbon swears her jaw aches from wearing a permanent false smile and she knows her patience is wearing frighteningly thin. She knows she's not suited to this job at all and that is half the reason she is so terrified of this meeting with a new boss

The other half is because the change of hands has happened so suddenly and so soon after she joined their 'team' that she cannot help but be a little (or rather, a lot) suspicious.

She pretty much jumps out of her skin when the secretary tells her that John Moorcroft is finally ready to meet with her. Swallowing down her nerves and shaking ever so slightly, Lisbon raises to her feet. She certainly wasn't this nervous when she first met Hightower or even Minelli for the first time. Telling herself to get a grip, she knocks on the door rather sharply and holds her breath until a gravely voiced man instructs her to enter.

The man, John Moorcroft, her pseudo-boss, is in his early fifties, with sharp blue eyes and a receding hairline. Lisbon grimaces a little as she comes under his gaze and he looks her up and down appreciatively. Eventually, he offers her a seat and she perches nervously on the edge of it, with her legs tightly crossed. When he finally starts to actually speak to her, she takes an immediate dislike, especially as he seems to have forgotten where her face is. She barely hears half of what he is saying to her, not because she isn't listening but because he has the audacity to look at her as if she is little more than a piece of meat. The man is convinced that not only is she in his employ, but free for the taking. It had only taken her approximately five seconds to realize that John Moorcroft is the type of man who expects everything from life in return for nothing at all.

"So, do we have an agreement, Miss. Hollins?"

Lisbon's chin hits the ground as he leans in towards her and he gently presses his hand against her thigh. She flinches in response and the holster she thought she had grown used to wearing becomes more noticeable than ever. With watery eyes, she smiles a weak smile in response and nods slightly in answer to his question. He finally leans back again and a self-satisfied smirk appears on his face.

"So, seven p.m. on Thursday is alright with you?"

"Yes, Sir."

Her heart is pounding painfully as she leaves the room and it's a relief to finally be away from the pungent smell of Moorcroft's cigar smoke. But still, she can't help but wonder what the hell she has agreed to and why.

***

As soon as she reaches the apartment which is not quite her home, but as close as she has in Malibu, she switches on her computer. While she waits for it to load, she boils a kettle and makes herself a cup of tea. Earl Grey, Jane's favorite blend. She's not entirely convinced of the flavor yet but she drinks it because it simply reminds her of him and therefore, the delicate aroma is strangely reassuring.

It doesn't take her long to type out her message to Agent Hightower. She just hopes that the newest director of the CBI will hurry up and get back to her to ease her frazzled nerves. Lisbon needs to know all she can about Moorcroft before she can even consider relaxing a little again. Besides, she wants to know if there's been any sign of Red John's movement back in Sacramento, especially as the 'plan' is seeming more and more futile and pointless by the day.

As always, she finishes her e-mail requesting an update on her team and especially Jane. Though she knows that Hightower will never answer her queries, she cannot help but try.

**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I would have gotten this up earlier today, but I got distracted by bunnies of the real variety rather than plot. I'm sorry, but Galinda and Elphie are ridiculously cute and worthy of my attention. Anyway, I've got it done, obviously.

Thank you to: lisbon69, boutondor, Divinia Serit, mtm, jisbon-sessed, yaba, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, Frogster, Koezh, Famous4it, anthropologist, waterbaby134 and phoenixmagic1 for reviewing part four.

For Cat, who told me to hurry up and update this as people kept asking me to update Pretty Lies instead.

x tromana

* * *

**Part Five**

It's Thursday and Lisbon finds herself pacing incessantly around her lounge, waiting impatiently for John to pick her up for their 'date'. Lisbon snorts derisively to herself. She can hardly believe that she's being forced to date the boss, just to keep things smooth and allow the op to run as planned. Hightower had replied promptly to her e-mail, stating that Moorcroft was essentially a harmless thrill seeker with a penchant for beautiful women. The fact that he doesn't have a rap sheet calms Lisbon a little, though not enough for her to leave her Glock back at the apartment.

She jolts when she hears the roar of a powerful engine pull up outside her apartment block and she cannot resist a peek through the Venetian blinds. John Moorcroft is climbing out of a power car, something typically ostentatious and it suits him down to the ground. Once he reaches her apartment door and leads her back outside, Lisbon finds him surprisingly gentlemanly as he opens and closes doors on her behalf. He doesn't even push her too far, though it has only been ten minutes, so she may be giving him a little too much credit thus far. Still, if she wasn't so on edge, Lisbon would be happy to say that chivalry isn't dead, but she is so she's simply terrified instead.

John Moorcroft can sense her apprehension, but tries to think nothing of it. He knows that he's a rather intimidating character and Teresa is a little fireball herself, it isn't difficult for him to put people in the shadows with his personality and charisma. Moorcroft also knows that he has a rather arrogant perspective of himself, but he cannot help it, he's always seen himself in a greater light than other people and that's what drives him to try bigger and greater thrills to suit his personality. Of course, he hopes that she'll relax given time, enough for him to pull the wool over her eyes, at the very least.

He has plans and he'll be damned if he has to wait to carry them out because of his subject being a rattling bag of nerves.

***

They travel in a deathly silence, nobody quite knowing what to say or do. It's too late to do anything useful so they are headed straight to the hotel that Van Pelt booked shortly before they left Sacramento. The girl can work wonders on a computer in such a short space of time and it simply baffles Jane. He's not technophobic by any means, but equally, he's not blessed with being part of the technologically adept generation as she is.

But he's not thinking of Van Pelt, nor being particularly grateful for the doors her skills have opened.

No, his mind is whirring at a thousand miles an hour for other reasons. He used to love Malibu. 'Used' being the key word. Its beautiful beaches and stunning scenery just screamed luxury. It had been the perfect place for a successful psychic to set down his roots and start bringing up his growing family.

"You okay, Jane?"

It's the first time anybody has talked since they got off the plane and Jane turns to face Van Pelt, rather surprised. How can she think he's anywhere close to being 'okay'. He's on a wild goose chase, looking for his AWOL girlfriend, traipsing around a part of the state which is filled with bittersweet memories. Right now, he doesn't think that he could be any less 'okay' even if he tried. After all, especially under the setting sun, the white foam topping the waves reminds him of crimson blood. The smiling faces of holidaymakers turn into leering bloodied grins. Ghosts hang in the restaurant where they first met, the hotel they first made love and in the park where he proposed to his beautiful wife. And now he feels as though he could lose his second chance, his second love in Malibu just as he'd lost his wife.

Because if the team has found out where Lisbon is working in this sham of a witness protection scheme, he's fairly certain that Red John has too. The serial killer is always at least five steps ahead of them, or that's at least how it feels so it seems implausible for him not to be here already. And if their fears are justified and he is here, is Lisbon still alive at all? Of course she can protect herself, he knows as much as that. In fact, he's seen her do so when facing some of California's most dangerous criminals. But Red John is in a completely different league to them and she is alone in a city she barely knows.

Jane shudders and Rigsby immediately glances over at him. The look on the larger agent's face suggests that he is thinking exactly the same thing.

***

Lisbon is getting a little sick and tired of John's impertinent questions and she's only been in his company for an hour. He wants to know every little detail of her life and that makes her feel as though she is undergoing an interrogation. And of course, she can hardly tell the truth for most of them so she's having to try and keep on top of the web of lies she is intricately weaving herself. But it shouldn't matter _too_ much because here, in Malibu, her surname is meant to be Hollins, not Lisbon and therefore, she's meant to be a completely different person. She freezes when she realizes she has contradicted herself at least twice but allows herself to breathe a little easier when it appears that John hasn't picked up on any of the discrepancies.

She feels so out of practice at this game and she's not quite sure which she means. She's been living this life for several months now and she still considers herself to be in a loving relationship with Jane, though whether or not he does the same is debatable.

It irritates her when Moorcroft orders for the both of them. When the drinks come through, the red wine is admittedly delicious, tart, just the way she likes it, but that's besides the point. Just because she's a woman, it doesn't mean she's physically incapable of making decisions. Her (real) career is testament to that fact. Not that he seems to even suspect for a second that she is actually a cop hiding from a notorious serial killer.

When he cracks a joke, she laughs weakly and looks slightly over his shoulder, where she swears she spots a flash of red hair and a familiar head of blond curls. Quickly, she dismisses it as wishful thinking. Jane and Van Pelt can't be here because they don't have a clue whereabouts she is.

***

Of course, there is no such thing as coincidence where Jane is concerned. The flash restaurant which Moorcroft had chosen to take Lisbon too is attached to the hotel the team is staying at.

When Jane spots Lisbon with Moorcroft, he's horrified at the idea that she's dating again and Van Pelt tries to make chase. It doesn't take long for him to lose her and he heads straight to his virtually abandoned house, the shell of a home he rarely visits and barely maintains. Seeing Lisbon with another man shakes him to his very core and he knows he can't stay in a soulless hotel room.

He'd rather stay in his soulless home, underneath Red John's symbol and be reminded of everything he's lost to date.

**TBC…**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Ack, my computer keeps randomly cutting out. Somehow, it keeps working again after being left alone for a while, but yeah. It's weird. If I land up disappearing for a while, it's because we've had to take it for repairs. Hopefully, it won't come to that because I need the damn thing for work as well.

Anyway, thank you to: AlternativeRocker, boutondor, JisbonvsCaskett, yaba, jisbon-sessed, Frogster, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, Tiva4evaxxx, Koezh, CharmedNightSkye, Divinia Serit, Ebony10, forthecoast, Famous4it, anthropologist, phoenixmagic1, Simonisthecuttestmentalist, Viktorija, Anna and waterbaby134 for reviewing part five. Especially so to Anna who signed in anonymously. I've been completely overwhelmed by the response so thank you!

Now, I'm going to write the final part of Pretty Lies and resolve that lovely cliffhanger.

x tromana

* * *

**Part Six**

It's Van Pelt who finds him, practically catatonic and resting on the mattress in his master bedroom. She's relieved that the door hadn't been shut properly, merely pulled to and therefore she has managed to gain access into his property. Still, the younger woman feels a little guilty at this invasion of his privacy and can barely look at Red John's mark on the wall above them. She knows it's painted in the blood of a woman he loved desperately and that he believes he has just lost another for reasons unknown. But unlike Jane, Van Pelt cannot help but be a little optimistic. At least the know Lisbon is still alive and given that knowledge, they can finally get an explanation for what the hell is going on.

While she isn't exactly close to her boss, not the way that Cho is for example, she does know a thing or two about Lisbon. Van Pelt knows that she is fiercely loyal to her team and especially Jane, something which makes the disappearance so utterly bizarre. She also knows that the woman struggles to trust easily and that's something she doubts could change in such a short period of time. It's also obvious that, despite the fact she hadn't vocalized it, Teresa Lisbon is (or at least was three months ago) deeply in love with Patrick Jane. Therefore, there has to be a logical reason for not only why she disappeared, but why they spotted her with another man.

And the red head isn't willing to leave Malibu without an answer to both of those questions.

Jane, however. Flies through a range of emotions, with the poor woman having to take the brunt of it. He is filled with an indignant rage at the fact that she has wilfully disturbed his peace and walked into his twisted safe haven and hopelessness at his current situation. And more anger because it appears that Lisbon has already forgotten about him enough to consider dating somebody else.

As she gently touches him on the shoulder, barely allowing her fingers to graze his cotton shirt, Van Pelt can only hope that somehow, she can instil some of her optimism in the broken man curled up in a ball before her.

***

When she is finally home, alone and has gone through her normal security routine, Lisbon is physically and emotionally exhausted. It doesn't help that she's somewhat paranoid because a strange car is parked outside and it doesn't look like it's leaving any time soon. The lying has tired her out, she quickly decides and she doesn't quite know how Jane managed to keep up with it when he played the psychic trail. She doesn't want to know either. She's definitely not designed for pretending, not for this long anyway. It doesn't help that, excepting the vehicle, all she can think about is the man she loves and how he repeatedly told her just how hopeless she is at lying. It's left her living in perpetual fear of being caught out - by the wrong person.

After all, luring out Red John is one thing. Being busted by somebody else and being solely responsible for Hightower's plan falling around her ears is entirely another.

She briefly considers the concept that John Moorcroft himself is the serial killer. He is powerful, well connected and his seemingly coincidental transfer just after she started working at the bank could quite easily be not coincidental at all. Plus, he has an almost unhealthy interest in her when Lisbon knows that many of his other subordinates are younger, prettier than her and would be absolutely thrilled to receive his sole attention. Throughout the night, he had been sweet though, in a 'look at me, I'm so rich and powerful and want to sweep you off your feet' kind of way. Funny how she always seems to attract those types. Empty glamour, as Jane once called it.

It also helps that she is almost completely convinced that Red John being Moorcroft would be far too simple.

Whether or not her Jane-esque hunch is correct will be clearer soon. Lisbon wants to keep an eye on the man and the feeling appears to be entirely mutual. That's why she has agreed to 'date' number two tomorrow night.

But whether or not he is Red John, she will definitely ensure she remains armed at all times.

***

It takes all three of them to persuade Jane to stay for another night.

While Van Pelt had been attempting to comfort Jane, Cho and Rigsby hadn't been sitting down and doing nothing. They had been tailing Lisbon and Moorcroft and had been fairly relieved that Moorcroft had left her alone at her apartment complex. Rigsby, being a little more impetuous and impulsive, had wanted to immediately follow Lisbon to her door, but Cho had managed to dissuade him. The Asian agent had the impression that she wouldn't be best impressed at them suddenly appearing on her doorstep with no warning, especially as she believed she had disappeared without a trace.

However the reunion was to be staged, it required due care and attention. Especially as they still only know half the story - if that.

Jane is particularly sceptical as they sit outside Lisbon's home less than twenty four hours later. He doesn't really trust the team's instincts this time around and simply wants to go home and lick his wounds. If Lisbon had known about the messages he had been receiving from Red John, this could quite easily be her way of not only teaching him a lesson but attempt to deflect the murderer's attention. After all, if Red John believed she was no longer in love with him, he wouldn't need to kill her, would he?

Moorcroft soon turns up, pulling up outside in a different, but equally ostentatious car to last time. A surge of jealousy runs through Jane's veins, not quite unexpectedly as he knows that regardless of how she feels, he still loves her. The man's presence and attempts at flashiness are definitely enough to kick him into action again though. But if he had understood why she had left, he might have been accepting of this man dating his Lisbon.

Or maybe not, as he sees her smiling graciously at this other man, while dressed in a stunning deep red blouse and the shortest skirt he's ever seen her wearing.

***

She quickly decides that this is quite possibly the worst date she has ever been on. And Lisbon has been on some pretty lousy dates, so that is quite an achievement.

Then again, she hadn't found herself looking down the barrel of a gun on any of those.

Her habit of making sure she's armed at all times has finally paid off. Moorcroft looks slightly confused at the fact that he's found himself at a stand off rather than being able to rattle off his demands at his leisure and this makes it blindingly obvious that he isn't really used to threatening to kill people. Lisbon, however, feels relatively comfortable, all things considering. Especially so as she knows that her team are approximately two minutes behind her. She's seen them sporadically throughout the night. If she is ever back in charge of them, she'll make sure that she improves their training when it comes to tracking and trailing. And if not, she'll just have to pass that information onto Hightower.

As she predicted, footsteps charged behind her and she glances to her left to see Cho, already pointing his weapon at Moorcroft.

"Well, you took your time, didn't you?"

**TBC…**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **For those of you who read them, Inside, Outside and Unbound all have updates coming. They're currently with betas so should be up relatively soon. As for this part... it kind of took its own direction. So either blame my migraine or the characters. Not me. Please?

Anyway, thanks to: yaba, AlternativeRocker, waterbaby134, boutondor, phoenixmagic1, Tiva4evaxxx, CharmedNightSkye, Divinia Serit, jisbon-sessed, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, lisbon69, Ebony10, Frogster, anthropologist, Famous4it, Simonisthecuttestmentalist, Koezh, amurderofcrows and forthecoast for reviewing part six. I can't say often enough how much your feedback means to me.

Now, I'm going to go hide in a corner over there. Or start a new fic. Maybe both. But before I do, happy belated birthday yaba and happy birthday to boutondor!

**Oh and spoilers for 2x17 The Red Box - but only stuff that can be worked out from the trailer.**

x tromana

* * *

**Part Seven**

It's a couple of hours later and the local PD has graciously handed them over a couple of rooms for a makeshift base of operations. Lisbon is dressed far more demurely now and feeling a lot more comfortable. It feels good, like she's come back home, even if everybody is keeping their eyes on her, almost as if they believe she will disappear again if they can't see her. She knows she's going to have to explain it all to them sooner or later, but frankly, she's not ready to just yet. She just wants to settle back into the team dynamic and get on with the task in hand.

That task being finding out why the hell John Moorcroft decided it was a good idea to draw a gun on her.

She finds herself itching to join in the questioning, but Cho actively prevented her from doing so. It's understandable though, considering her direct involvement with the case and the fact that Moorcroft has proven that if he is _not_ Red John, he is at least in contact with the serial killer. Either that or somebody else wants Lisbon dead, but she's trying not to think of it that way. Of course her line of work makes it fairly easy for her to create enemies, but she sincerely hopes that not _that_ many people want her dead. So, instead of doing what she really wants to be doing, Lisbon finds herself talking to Van Pelt. The younger woman is a little hostile but willing to update her on everything to do with the case. They both know what she is doing however. Really, she could just read everything she need to know in her own time but in actuality, by actively spending time with Van Pelt, she is avoiding speaking to Jane.

But then again, Jane hasn't actually approached her for that 'little' discussion. Instead, he has perched himself on a chair and is watching her warily. She's not sure, but she reckons that he doesn't want to have the talk either because he has a feeling he knows where it is going to go already. Partially because that's how she feels too. Lisbon knows that she's still annoyed with Jane and however hard she tries not to, she still blames him for the past three months of hell. If he'd actually talked to her about those messages then maybe, just maybe, she would have been able to let him in on the plan. And then she might not have felt so isolated, so alone while trying to lure out Red John and only being able to contact Hightower from her 'old' life.

Ah, Hightower. Lisbon's fingers run automatically over her cell phone as yet again, she considers calling the latest director of the CBI. She agreed with the rest of the team not to though, especially as Jane had decided that he didn't trust her. Lisbon doesn't mind her though and that is a huge change of opinion from when she first met the austere woman. Considering that the first thing she did when she joined the CBI was threaten to fire Lisbon, it had been hardly surprising though. She also remembers the night after the introduction fairly well too. The sex had been fun, but not the kind of comfort that Jane had hoped for. But then again, sex was hardly proof that he would clean up his act enough for Lisbon's job to no longer be in jeopardy. In the end, she'd proven herself to be enough of an asset to Hightower and now the women would walk to the ends of the earth for each other, as demonstrated by the fact that her position has been left open, ready for her to walk straight back in when it's safe for her to do so.

It's just Jane who is being overly suspicious now.

***

Lisbon looks as cool, calm and competent as he remembers her being. But that doesn't mean he's ready to speak to her, not yet. If he just watches her, Jane knows that he can pretend that these three months never happened, that they're still hopelessly in love with one another and they're simply working on a case out of town together. Jane knows full well just how unhealthy illusions like that can be, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to clutch at these straws for just a little while longer. He smiles slightly as he absorbs her features, the way she always frowns when ruminating a problem and casually pushes her hair behind her ear every time it falls in front of her eyes. When she bites her lip and expresses her annoyance at the whole sorry situation, he realizes that he hasn't stopped loving her.

Doesn't mean he's ready to talk though.

On a whim, he rises to his feet and goes outside for air. The stars twinkle back down at him cheerfully, almost tauntingly in their innocent, benign manner. It's three a.m. yet none of the agents seem to have noticed or care. They simply want a confession or at least something from Moorcroft. Something to help them get moving on the Red John case. Jane's fairly certain there's a link there somewhere but he's too frazzled to even try talking to the man. Besides, he knows that he will lash out at the fact that he had taken Lisbon out on a date. Regardless of Moorcroft's link, that's not the thing irritating Jane most. What he wants to know is how the hell Red John found out that Lisbon was in Malibu when the only person who knew was Special Agent Madeleine Hightower. Either Hightower herself is dealing directly with Red John or there is yet another mole operating within the CBI headquarters.

Jane doesn't know which idea he prefers.

His neck pops slightly when he sees Lisbon exit the building, deep in conversation with somebody on her cell phone. It doesn't take him long to figure out that she has finally given into her desperate urge to call her superior and update her on the situation. Jane snorts as he realizes just how furious Hightower will be at the fact that an entire team has gone AWOL and completely ruined whatever little plan she and Lisbon had cooked up.

Maybe in the morning, he'll talk to her, get her to explain why.

***

Jane corners her over breakfast. She almost chokes on her croissant and spills her orange juice slightly when he taps her gently on the shoulder. The rest of the team are talking to her, almost as if nothing had ever happened though. Lisbon knows that they would like an explanation, but are not expecting one. Maybe in a couple of weeks time, when she's rationalized the whole experience herself, she'll feel ready to tell them what happened, in a brief, disjointed manner. There's no need to bore them with all the details, especially as most the time she has been suffering from a strange mix of anger and loneliness and there's absolutely no need to bore them with silly emotions like that. Inappropriate too. She's their boss (or at least, hopes she still is), not their friend, regardless of what certain individuals on her team hope for.

After she's recovered from her coughing fit, Lisbon agrees to find a quiet place to talk to Jane. She shivers slightly, knowing that this is probably a terrible idea but there's no point in putting off the inevitable. In the few hours they've spent apart since their reunion of sorts, Lisbon slept fitfully because of this very talk. It's not that she doesn't want to speak to Jane, say things that she actually means for a change, but it's the hurt and upset that she knows it's going to cause that is what she is dreading.

As Jane offers her a seat, she accepts it grudgingly and it's a good five minutes until either of them speak. When they eventually do, there's the expected discomfort and attempts to talk at the same time. Jane lets her have her say first though, especially as he doesn't really have anything to say and Lisbon feels uncomfortable underneath his scrutinizing gaze as she explains exactly how and why she left. She doesn't bother mentioning just how hellish her experience has been, because she isn't after sympathy, she doesn't want his care and attention. In fact, when it comes to Jane, she doesn't even know what she wants anymore.

"You know, we never really…" Jane hints, after saying just how much he missed having her in his life.

"I'm sorry, Jane," she replies coolly, "but after all this, do you really think we can work again?"

**TBC…**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Well, I said I wanted to get moving with this didn't I? This is one of the few times I'm grateful for a migraine, hahaa.

Thanks to: boutondor, yaba, Divinia Serit, Anna, jisbon-sessed, Koezh, anthropologist, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, phoenixmagic1, Queen Em, Ebony10, waterbaby134 and Viktorija for reviewing part eight. Especially so to Anna who reviewed anonymously and therefore I couldn't reply.

We're getting near the end of this now...

x tromana

* * *

**Part Eight**

Her words hit him like a fierce blow direct to the gut. Jane feels winded and finds himself gasping for air. He doesn't know why he expected her to say anything else; Lisbon is famed for being almost neurotic when it comes to protecting herself and her emotions. And she's angry, he knows that, anyone would be given their bizarre situation. He can't quite say he understands, because he hadn't experienced what she had first hand and had simply been forced to endure the concept of living without her. Really, Jane knows he should appreciate having the knowledge that she's okay, but he doesn't. He wants more, like he used to have. They say a change is as good as a rest, but this is one change he doesn't want, that he isn't ready for.

Just as he goes to retort angrily, Cho appears and Lisbon looks relieved to have an excuse to disappear. Immediately, the brunette rises to her feet and follows the Asian agent directly back into the building, probably to discuss whatever information Cho had managed to gain from Moorcroft. Normally, Jane would follow, to find out what the pair were discussing. But his curiosity has disappeared, pretty much evaporated since Lisbon said that fateful sentence and all he wants to do is curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. Jane had never thought he'd see the day when he would be disinterested in the case in hand, especially one that appeared to have links to Red John, but there had to be a first time for everything.

He flinches when he feels a feminine hand gently grasp his left shoulder. Van Pelt again. The woman had been by his side throughout the ordeal and Jane appreciated it. He also suspects that it's because the red head is having problems with her relationship with Rigsby, the one she promised Hightower that she'd break off but never did. When he first started dating Lisbon, Jane had initially assumed that the young woman would hold some kind of resentment against them. The fact that Hightower had been willing to turn a blind eye to his relationship with his boss had been initially odd, but he soon realized that she didn't care because it lowered the number of lawsuits and the rule only applied to the agents anyway. Instead, Van Pelt had been practically thrilled at the signs of another office romance and seeing both her boss and Jane so happy for a change. When Lisbon had disappeared, she'd almost been as heartbroken as he had and had been the one who had been most optimistic about finding Lisbon alive and well.

"Can I sit?"

Jane nods. She might as well. It's not likely that Lisbon will be back now that Cho has whisked her away. In fact, he doubts that he'll see much of her at all for now. She'll avoid him to avoid the confrontation. Van Pelt takes the seat and stares at him with scrutinizing eyes. It takes just one glance at her for Jane to realize just how disappointed she is with the recent turn of events. Ever the romantic, she had probably assumed that when they were reunited, Lisbon would have fallen into his arms and everybody would be happy again but real life has a nasty habit of getting in the way of the youthful hopes from the likes of Van Pelt.

"What did she say?"

Jane opens his mouth several times to speak, but quickly closes it again. The words are refusing to come and he feels like if he vocalizes it, there's no going back. She nods understandingly and reaches out to take his hand.

"At least…" Van Pelt starts, trailing off slightly before regaining confidence. "At least you have the time you had together. It's better than nothing. Right?"

Jane snorts and pulls his hand away. Whoever said it's better to have loved than never loved at all deserves to be shot.

***

Cho keeps asking if she is okay.

Normally, she'd find such attention sweet, if a little out of character, for the Asian agent. But then again, it's hardly surprising that he is acting somewhat odd around he. She's been missing for a quarter of a year, which in reality isn't all that long, but is long enough for it to be a cause of concern. Asking if she's alright is Cho's way of checking that the conversation with Jane hasn't shaken her too much and that she's settling back down okay without asking outright. Still, right now, she just finds it annoying. All she wants to do is work out who Red John is or at least find some way of dissecting Moorcroft's information in order to find some clues as to the murderer's current location.

Moorcroft claimed that he had no idea who the serial killer was until he got his new job at the bank. Red John had approached him, offering him money to prey upon and eventually kill Lisbon. He hadn't even been sure why he had accepted it, except for the fact it would be a new experience and Red John had guaranteed that he wouldn't get caught. Of course, Moorcroft didn't realize that Red John probably didn't mean that he'd survive. Like Rebecca and so many other accessories he'd used before her, he probably had anticipated that Moorcroft would die sooner or later. It was just a case of having him do his dirty work for him.

Rigsby has gone to collect Moorcroft's computers, both from home and work, in the anticipation that the man's technology might hold so clues as to where the information he has been receiving has been coming from. Lisbon isn't holding much hope out for it though, mainly because she knows what Red John is like. Every number he'd ever contacted Jane from had proven useless - even Hightower with her experience in the Secret Service hadn't been able to work anything out. Lisbon sighs deeply and Cho glances up yet again from the paperwork. All these months alone and completely wrecking her relationship has been for nothing. Moorcroft is simply another hired hand, a nobody. She cannot help but think that she should have known better. That she should have known running away would mean Red John would only send a lackey after her.

Eventually, Lisbon manages to free herself from the constant observation of one member of the team or another. She's touched by their protectiveness, but really, she just needs to breathe. Though she's been so terribly lonely recently, she's also appreciated having time alone, to breathe and relax without the constant pressure of keeping up appearances. Instead of heading for somewhere specific, she just wanders down now-familiar streets, eventually landing up in front of a café which she has developed a liking for.

Coffee sounds good. Just to recharge her batteries and then she can head back.

***

He had always known that sooner or later they would be reunited with Lisbon. And he'd always planned to join them when they were.

He'd also known that Moorcroft would be too obvious in his styles and ideas of ways to kill a woman and would therefore fail dismally. But the egotistical man had purely been to distract their attention, to let him go about his work unnoticed.

Being Madeleine Hightower's personal secretary had its benefits and duping a cop who believed themselves as being such a good judge of character had been fun. When she found out that Red John had been working beneath her for all this time, he knew that her face would be a picture. He'd also long since learned of Lisbon's location, within hours of her making her escape there. Jane's reaction had been absolutely worth it, but now, Red John was growing bored. He just wants this game to be over so he could move onto the next one.

He grins when he spots Lisbon at one of her usual haunts, one of the few useful things that Moorcroft had told him about. Grasping his blade tightly in his pocket, he pushes the door open and smiles slightly at the cheerful ring of the bell. Heading to the counter, he orders an espresso for himself and a latte for Lisbon.

Now, all he has to do is befriend her and take away her life just when the team thinks they've been reunited for good.

**TBC…**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Firstly, Jello Forever Summer Secret Santa Sign Ups have opened. (Whew. A mouthful there.) You know you want to join in. No, really. You do.

And yay. Another fic finished. Only a little longer than I initially anticipated, but never mind that. This could've gone on for another couple of chapters, but really I was losing steam with it so felt it better to end it sooner rather than risk me growing completely fed up with it. Besides, it means I can start really focusing on my new fic - Army of Me.

Thank you to: lisbon69, boutondor, ShunKickShunKers, yaba, Frogster, anthropologist, jisbon-sessed, forthecoast, Divinia Serit, Famous4it, Chiisana Minako, Viktorija, Koezh and waterbaby134 for reviewing part eight.

Anyway, thanks for sticking along with me for the ride. I hope you enjoy the final chap and hopefully anything else I come up with.

For Chibs. *hugs*

x tromana

* * *

**Part Nine**

Lisbon balks slightly when she sees a slender man approach her, juggling two hot drinks. As he goes to sit down opposite her, she stands to leave. It's too forward of him to take a seat opposite her without even bothering to ask and frankly, all she wants is some peace and quiet, some time alone. The atmosphere back in the makeshift offices had been stifling and she really didn't want to replace the team for a stranger.

She stares at him again.

No, not a stranger. She's seen this man around CBI headquarters, but she can't quite place him.

Still, whoever he is, she doesn't want to spend time with him. That would defy the objective of her leaving the others to get on with their work without her. Quickly, she makes some rushed apologies and leaves the café. The air has never felt fresher as she lengthens her stride and walks quickly away from the building and that colleague. She needs to get back to the others, or at least find somewhere quiet so that she could call Hightower. Lisbon doesn't trust this man's presence so far away from Sacramento.

And her misgivings are entirely justified when she feels the blade of a knife pressing gently against the exposed skin of her neck and somebody's left arm wrap tightly around her waist. She hadn't even realized he'd made chase.

"Hello Teresa."

His voice is warm and smooth, but unsurprisingly she shudders slightly, the sharp edge of his weapon gently nicking her skin, encouraging pearls of ruby red blood to come to the surface. There are many ways in which this is not good but all she can think of is just how much of an idiot she is to have left the protection of the others when she knew that Red John was still at large. The man's hand presses against the small of her back and he hisses a rushed 'walk' into her left ear. She knows what he's planning to do, he just wants more privacy, more time. Wants to make it as theatrical as possible as that's what Red John does. And she knows, understands just how much this will kill Jane. She hadn't meant what she said earlier, not a word of it. She's just angry and confused and now she's about to die.

Funny how that's what you need to put your thoughts back in track.

"Personally. I suggest you don't go anywhere."

Van Pelt's voice has never sounded more beautiful to her, even with the faltering confidence. Lisbon knows the shot is probably tight, tighter than even she'd feel comfortable with and the knife blade complicates matters. If this bastard severs an artery, she's dead and the younger woman doesn't want to risk it, even if it is Red John and frankly, Lisbon thinks she's worth sacrificing if it means that he dies too. Even with Jane's emotions on the line.

"Van Pelt, shoot him."

She winces as his forearm digs tighter into her ribcage in response to her words. The man seems to have finally gotten the message that either one or they both die, it's simply his decision whether or not he dares kill her in front of Van Pelt. Normally, he wouldn't have a second's doubt - killing is what he does best - but somehow the situation and the woman who he is threatening just _gets_ to him. Lisbon tries to glance at Van Pelt with what she hopes is a pleading expression. However this situation is going to end, she just wants it over and now.

Van Pelt mouths a quick 'I'm sorry' and if she hadn't had a knife pressed to her neck, she would have nodded slightly in response.

Instead, her knees simply buckle as the knife digs into her flesh microseconds after Van Pelt fired her shot.

*******

Jane doesn't like seeing the white bandage covering the wound on her neck but somehow, his eyes are frequently drawn to it and he feels guilty for staring. The harsh whiteness just sticks out like a sore thumb, ruining her otherwise well turned out appearance. What's underneath is going to scar, going to become a permanent reminder of how close she came to losing her life. It'll be unfamiliar, new for a while, but a fine line around the base of her neck is far more preferable to the alternative.

"You don't need to keep looking away, Jane."

"Don't I?"

She shakes her head and perches on the arm of the couch. Lisbon knows how obvious it is because she cannot help but let her fingers graze the white gauze every so often. It's coming off soon, at least and once it does, she feels like she can finally put this all behind her. At least she feels happy, happier than she has for a long while. It didn't take her long to adjust to being back in Sacramento, a mere couple of hours and she's now pretty much reacting how she had done beforehand. There had never been any question that Lisbon would return to her old position, as far as their boss had been concerned, she had never left their employ. When Hightower had arrived in Malibu hours after the scuffle, she had been pleased that Red John had finally been stopped, even if he had been under her nose the whole time and furious that a whole team had disappeared on her without permission. Not to mention that Lisbon had received a life-threatening wound too and was in the middle of surgery as she landed. It had created far too many unanswerable questions as far as she was concerned, especially that of how he had gone unnoticed in the CBI for so long, but the fact that they had finally stopped California's most notorious serial killer had gone some way to silencing the critics.

Lisbon would have gone mad in hospital while recuperating, but the team had kept her company during their resulting suspension. The hospital in Malibu had been nice enough and the others had been thrilled with the idea of an extended stay in the city. Jane and Lisbon, however, both felt rather uncomfortable until the moment they left for Sacramento. Malibu held too many bad memories for both of them now. Another inexplicable bond which Lisbon has been trying desperately to ignore since the realization that it exists at all.

"You lost a lot of blood, are you sure you're okay being here?"

"I'm fine."

Jane sits up, tentatively brushing her hair out of her eyes. It's grown a little in the past four months and she likes the difference. He does too and his movements falter slightly as she glances away to the ground. Just a week ago, she'd still barely been talking to him and it's a blessed relief that she's now willing to hold a conversation with him, even if it is just while the others are out on their lunch break. She's still uncomfortable though and has been doing a very well at deflecting certain topics. It's obvious to Jane though and he knows they'll both be happier if they just give up the 'just friends' charade and go back to how they were before the whole sorry mess they're just recovering from.

"I love you and I think it's about time that you admit you love me too."

"Where did that come from?" Lisbon snorts, glancing at Jane warily. "Can your ego get any bigger?"

Jane's eyebrow raises.

"You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"What do you have against admitting your feelings?"

She takes a deep breath and stares at him. Instinctively, her fingers reach to her neck and she remembers just how she received the wound and some of her many last thoughts before Red John cut the vein (though, mercifully avoiding any arteries somehow). The anger at their lack of communication has long since dissipated, she understands why he never told her about the death threats. Now, she's put it in the past and strangely enough, feels ready to move on again.

"Yes, fine. I love you. Happy now?"

"Perfectly. So when can I move back in?"

end


End file.
